WELCOME TO THE WEATHER
Headed to The Res or any of the Great Barrington satellite areas? Want an on the ground description of conditions? Look no further. You have entered the extremely high tech realm of Rock Cricket's Weather Report Suite.
From the Main Street office at Rock Cricket headquarters we can read the time and temperature off the sign of Berkshire Bank down the road (does this mean we're sponsored by them?). This choice vantage point also allows for observational and interpretive data collection such as: is the pavement wet? is it snowing? who's walking down the road?
For those of you who would like so called "professional" information, here are some of the usual links (for Great Barrington, MA 01230):
We will do our best to give regular and accurate weather reports by looking out our window. And as always, anything we post will be accompanied by the usual unnecessary bullshit. Keep tuned in.
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Date: Tuesday December 24, 2013
Time: 7:30AM
Temperature: 26º
Observation: Blue skies headed this way. I heard the wind last night. Climb time? Santa left the barbershop drunk this morning. Got in his sleigh and rode off. Dangerous.
Reporter: Ryan
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Date: Monday December 23, 2013
Time: 5:10PM
Temperature: 41º
Observation: Rained all day. The snow is gone now. If we get some sun and wind boulders will be climbable by Christmas! Santa just walked into the barber shop across the street.
Reporter: Ryan
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Date: Sunday December 22, 2013
Time: 9:14AM
Temperature: 66º
Observation: Crazy warm. I suspect soaked boulders. Might go hike around the hill for a bit today, but doubtful of the prospect of climbing. The flood level dropped enough so that I could float into the Gypsy Joynt and drink PBR out of a 1/2 gallon ball jar. These waters are dangerous. 18 foot long radioactive Housatonic River pike plague the floodland. I saw some Kevin Costner lookalike screaming about Waterworld as he attempted to skewer one of the great beasts.
Reporter: Ryan
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Date: Saturday December 21, 2013
Time: 1:45PM
Temperature: 62º
Observation: WHAT THE FUCK?! 0-62 in less than a week. Something is wrong with our planet. The rock is wet. Go drink beer. Due to obvious climate change, the glaciers up north have completely melted, flooding all of the lower 48. Rock climbing is now impossible at this elevation. FLEE TO THE HILLS! I am writing this from a semi-floating raft I made out of dumpster gold. Please send help...
Reporter: Ryan
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Date: Friday December 20, 2013
Time: 8:03AM
Temperature: 30º
Observation: Lookin' gloomy. Will it get warm enough to rain? I'd say there's a good shot for some climbing. The Mystic appeared last night in a dream. He said.."Go to Xicotencatl and drink margaritas!"
Reporter: Ryan
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Date: Thursday December 19, 2013
Time: 7:16AM
Temperature: 26º
Observation: Blue skies on the horizon - Monument is cast in a pink glow fading to what might be a bluebird day. Temps seem to be picking up. If I wasn't working, I'd be climbing. As for the rioting in the streets last night - turns out the whole thing was spawned from a lack of Schlitz on tap at the bar. Them yokels love Schlitz!
Reporter: Ryan
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Date: Wednesday December 18, 2013
Time: 8:13PM
Temperature: 27º
Observation: Well..a little later than normal I suppose, but who's keeping track? Seems to be things are getting warmer out. The sky is dark right now..I suppose that's to be expected it being night and all. Anyway, why are you reading this and not getting a night session in? Denizens of The Well are looting Main St. and burning cars. Keep your children indoors and your dogs leashed at all times.
Reporter: Ryan
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Date: Tuesday December 17, 2013
Time: 7:09AM
Temperature: -0º
Observation: What the fuck does -0º mean?! Anyway, it's cold. No bouldering today. Conditions on the West Gully are prime, grab yourself some Sherpas, get them ropes fixed, and push for the summit.
Reporter: Ryan
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Date: Monday December 16, 2013
Time: 8:04AM
Temperature: 20º
Observation: Blue skies - I can see Monument in the distance clear as day. Stopped snowing. Seems like a day to go get at it if you can brush the snow off the topouts. Don't drive through the center of town however. A municipal tow truck and a truck from a private operation had an altercation at the corner of Railroad and Main. "The carcasses of these vehicles will remain as a memorial - an inconvenience yes, but an important moment in our town's history." - The Mayor
Reporter: Ryan
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Date: Sunday December 15, 2013
Time: 10:47AM
Temperature: 27º
Observation: It snowed all night, it's snowing now. Good luck. Those roaming dogs, the ones from earlier this week. They got Steve. We haven't seen him in days. Poor Steve, why did Jody leave you alone in the streets after the Holiday Bazaar?
Reporter: Ryan
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Date: Saturday December 14, 2013
Time: 9:00AM
Temperature: 13º
Observation: Snowin' pretty good at the moment. It's also well below freezing. If you're climbing here today you are dedicated, but mostly an idiot. Unless of course it's trying to conquer the unclimbed West Gully that Steve, Kiff, and I got shut down on yesterday in a snow flurry. This unpenetrable fortress of steep frozen earth, leaves, and sticks is quite the plum. I don't know why noone has picked it yet. We think our major hurdle was that we couldn't find any local Sherpas to fix ropes up to the Speed Boulder. They were all pelting Ueli Steck with rocks and harsh words.
Reporter: Ryan
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Date: Friday December 13, 2013
Time: 2:05PM
Temperature: 29º
Observation: A little late today. Looks like snow is coming. Right now it's gloomy, no wind. Whatever isn't covered in snow is probably pretty prime right now. A local mystic who won't be named or described has risen Andy from the grave. The mystic is trying to charge us twenty bucks. Worth it?
Reporter: Ryan
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Date: Thursday December 12, 2013
Time: 7:53AM
Temperature: 17º
Observation: Another cold one. Another sunny one. I don't think anything's melting, but are you out climbing? Andy was stabbed by an Arbanian last night. He's dead.
Reporter: Ryan
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Date: Wednesday December 11, 2013
Time: 7:45AM
Temperature: 17º
Observation: Well it's pretty cold. There are blue skies, and it seems as if the sun might show itself today. I think it might have snowed a little bit last night and as usual there are wet salty roads. I keep talking about the roads thinking there may be a correlation between them and the rock - but unless the town is paying workers to salt the boulders, I feel as if there's still snow on them (go brush it off). Anyway, it won't melt in this weather. From my window I can see Mounument Mt. Lately there has been an issue with peregrine falcons working their way into town and preying upon little shishi dogs outside of trendy boutiques. The town is getting upset at the increase in cost of emptying public trash cans full of their bones.
Reporter: Ryan
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Date: Tuesday December 10, 2013
Time: 7:25AM
Temperature: 33º
Observation: No new snow. The roads look as to be expected, kind of wet from the salt. Gloomy out and no wind. I just moved my car in the nick of time before some town construction crew dragged the Jetta down the road with a backhoe. They said "We wanted to see if she could swim!" as they gestured towards the Housatonic River. Instead they decided that the experiment could continue with the BMW parked in back of me. Tragedy averted.
Reporter: Ryan
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Date: Monday December 9, 2013
Time: 7:56AM
Temperature: 30º
Observation: It snowed some last night, maybe about 1/2" and now the roads are wet from what has been salted. Pretty damn gloomy out. No sun, no wind. There's a pack of wild dogs that came off the mountain last night. They descended specifically to terrorize the newly formed bands of small children who have been running the streets the last couple of days. These tribes were established after an unprecedented number of young brats were abandoned in town after the street festival on Saturday. Some say that municipal figures are behind the dogs, who may have been hired to cull the herd of Great Barrington's latest nuisance.
Reporter: Ryan
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